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30 weeks down, 10 weeks to go...

Weighing In

I feel for Kim Kardashian right now. I can't imagine how awful it would be to be under constant media scrutiny for my every fashion misstep or for gaining "too much" weight while pregnant. I can barely make it through a work day now without getting the urge to scratch someone's eyes out. What is it about being pregnant that opens the floodgates for people to act like jackasses? I don't even necessarily mind the random tummy gropes as much as I thought I would. Its the constant criticism and unsolicited advice that's driving me up the wall.

Caffeine, alcohol, seafood, pork, chicken, red meat, eggs, sugar, fruits, milk. These are all things that I've been told I need to give up. By my doctor? No, by the people I work with. All with the best of intentions, of course. Everyone has a horror story to share: someone's daughter drank too much milk while pregnant and got kidney stones. Chicken and eggs carry salmonella.Caffeine just makes me a bad person, apparently. When did everyone become an expert??

I love that I have so many mommy friends. I'm going through something that's brand new for me, and I know I'll be asking advice on tons of things. But welcome advice is one thing, and just because this is new to me does not mean that I'm not educated or that I lack basic brain function. I went out to breakfast not too long ago with a friend, and the topic of my pregnancy came up. I mentioned something the doctor told me, and my friend's reply? "And you actually listen to your doctor? Aren't you cute?" Um yeah. I'm fucking adorable for wanting a healthy pregnancy.

Then there's the grand epidural debate. According to one coworker if I get one I'm a "weenie" and I would never be a "real" mother because I didn't go through the whole experience naturally. On the other side of the fence, another coworker says that NOT having an epidural causes too much stress to the baby and what kind of a person would do that to their baby? You can't win either way. 

Maybe its my hormones, but people are becoming less and less tolerable the more pregnant I get. 

THANK GOD FOR TACO BELL. 

Changes

Time is a funny thing right now. It seems to be dragging on slowly and speeding past me all at the same time. I figured now would be a good time to get back into blogging, so that maybe I can get some of the stuff out of my own head for a little while.

After being with my husband for nearly 10 years, I'm pregnant with our first baby. We had been trying for such a long time, then pretty much gave up trying and started to accept the fact that it probably wasn't going to happen for us. We had kind of made peace with that. Despite our ups and downs, we've had nearly a decade to enjoy each other, and if we couldn't be parents, we could at least be happy with each other for the rest of our lives, right??  It really does happen when you stop trying. Sex when you're trying to make a baby is an entirely different kind of sex. There's so much hope and expectation attached...and not the usual kind. Who knew that after literally years of trying, all it would take would be getting naughty at 5am when you're both really supposed to be getting ready for work??

I was so sick on Thanksgiving day, but I didn't really think that I was pregnant. It didn't occur to me until 2 days later, when the smell of my beloved coffee turned my stomach. After so much trying, I didn't want to tell Jesse, in case my suspicions were wrong. I wish I had a sweeter story to tell my baby to be one day, but it isn't the case: I took a pregnancy test from the Dollar Store in the bathroom at work. It was positive. I called my husband to tell him, but decided against telling him right that second because he told me he was right in the middle of a huge argument with his boss and he wasn't having the greatest day. I held off, figuring I'd tell him the good news once we were both home for the day and feeling a bit more relaxed.

Again, not so. I'm not good at keeping secrets from Jesse. I ended up blurting out the news in the drive thru of Kentucky Fried Chicken. I can't say I blame the poor guy for being completely stunned.

After the initial shock wore off, we were both beyond excited, thrilled that a dream we had both put to rest was actually happening. We shared the news with our parents first, then close friends. We found out just a  few weeks ago that we're having a little girl. I can't wait.

Everyone says pregnancy drags on and that its awful, but for me it seems like its going way too fast. I'm already 5 months along and all I can think about is everything I still need to do to get ready. Its overwhelming. Thankfully, I have had (knock on wood) a fairly easy pregnancy thus far. I was really, really nervous, since I have fibromyalgia and didn't know how that would be affected with the pregnancy. Besides morning sickness the first few months, it has been smooth sailing all the way. I'm starting to have back pain now, but I chalk that more up to the fact that I've had to upgrade my bra size to a 36G. Not fun.

So now seems like the perfect time to get back into the habit of blogging. I don't want to be "that girl" who talks only about her pregnancy 24/7, driving everyone around her nuts, so this isn't going to be a pregnancy blog, per se. I plan to share a little bit of everything. The pregnancy is a huge part of my life right now, and I'm so excited/scared/curious, but I'm not consumed by it. I'll still be obsessing over makeup and food and frivolous things. I just plan to be better about documenting things from now on.

XoXo